1 year was not wasted

(a suitable Fat Amy gif to express how I feel)

Alright so I got back my 2012 O level results last Thursday. As I've mentioned before, it was exactly 1 year ago, I went back to EVSS to retake my O levels. Sitting for my O levels for the 2nd time, I definitely felt double the pressure upon receiving my results. I did not want to disappoint again. I did not want to be left behind again. I did not want cry again. I did not want people to sympathize me again. I did not want to waste my whole year coming back to secondary school as a repeat student.

On 10 January 2013, I woke up early, wore my school uniform and was really hoping it would be the last time I'd be wearing that ugly blue uniform. So many things was running through my mind. I had negative thoughts so many of them, till I felt like it was eating me alive. I was definitely not mentally and physically prepared to receive my results. I was the 4th person, out of my class of 30 to be called forward, and view my results. Soon, my name was being called by my form teacher whom I can't tell if his facial expression was happy or sad. As soon as I sat on the chair, I kept shaking my legs and rubbing my hands together. The first thing I asked him was 'Can you tell me I am able to go to poly?'

I did it. I am eligible for polytechnic. My results weren't that fantastic but knowing I am eligible for polytechnic felt surreal for me. I did not cry surprisingly. Probably because I felt like it was all a dream.

It felt nice hearing people say 'I am so proud of you' because to hear those words was definitely once in a blue moon for me.

Alhamdulliah, thank you Allah.